Finding Love in Loss - 5th Sunday of Lent
Are you like me and find the story of Lazarus frustrating? For those of us who have lost family members or loved ones, everything in us - our prayers, dreams, desires, plans, pleas, and cries - longs for Jesus to bring our loved ones back to life, just like he did with Lazarus. Or perhaps you feel like Martha, crying out to Jesus to change a particular situation, to heal a hurt/pain, mend a broken relationship or to lift you from despair. Often, in these situations, we cry out to God like Martha, saying “if you were here with us, my brother wouldn't have died" or “if you’re really with me, Jesus, this wouldn’t be happening, you can solve it, that’s just who you are”. Sometimes friends, as you know, God does not make everything happen the way we want Him to. Sometimes life (and death) can be mysterious.
Just like Martha and Mary, I begged Jesus to bring my brother back to life. He was on life support, after a car accident, caused by a ruptured brain aneurysm. He had two surgeries to alleviate the bleeding and swelling on his brain. The doctor told us he will not die, but he would not come out the same Chris we knew. I had every Catholic I knew praying, even his friends who were not into their faith. I cried out to God believing He would bring him back to us. However, over the week his health declined, and we finally had to say our last goodbye. I could not understand why God wouldn’t bring him back to life. I cried out to God like Martha, “if you are here with me, my brother won’t die.” After he died, I blamed God, again like Martha saying, “if you had been here with me, my brother wouldn't have died.”
Some of us feel tempted to blame God or someone else when we lose a loved one or when we are confronted with overwhelming life situations. We might expect God to answer our cries and prayers in our time, yet sometimes God’s timing is different. If we let it, this can lead to despair, tempting us to walk away from God. For many years, I blamed God and could not even face him. He did not bring my brother back, and I struggled to understand. One day, I sat before the all too familiar cross. I looked up at it and for the first time since my brother died, I saw love. I experienced Jesus’ love through the cross - him dying for me! I noticed his outstretched arms. I sensed Jesus wanting to embrace me, as if He were saying, “Therese, I’m here, I’ve always been here, I’m waiting for you, come to me, I’m with you.”
We do not always understand what God is doing in our lives. At times, His ways can seem mysterious and even disconcerting to us. Yet, our faith teaches us that in our pain, grief, struggles and hardships, Jesus’ compassionate love is always present. Ultimately, these hardships can become a source of grace
Therese Mills
This reflection was originally written for Compassio - the 2026 Lenten Program of the Diocese of Wollongong.